Two thousand and seven.

People are starting to get pissed at how slack I am updating this blog. So I thought I’d better write something to bring us into the new year. Unfortunately I have no pics and so I’ll do my best to make up for it by being terribly witty, but I fear it’ll just end up being terrible. Ah well.

We had a fun old time at Christmas. Han and I travelled down on “Gus the Bus” with daddio, Rob and Jute to my Gran’s place in Ashburton. Party town itself. First stop we stayed with Margo and Poppa. Rad. Jute, Rob, Dad and Poppa went fishing and I escaped with the car and hit the big smoke of Blenners. We met up with Rock n Roll Annie and her terror of a child (not really, he’s great!) Jacob. Started out at a cafe but got tired of having to haul our children in and out of the cage. (Brilliant idea btw – being able to LOCK your children in a play area. Wellington. Take note.) So we headed back to Annie’s to give the cat and dog a double dose of toddly fun. They made themselves scarce. Then headed back to Picton after eating Annie out of house and home. Thanks btw love! It was great šŸ˜€

We made it to good old Ashers and Han didn’t destroy too much of Gran’s stuff. We narrowly escaped having to go to Church on Christmas Eve by feigning the need to go and buy gifts for the next day’s present arrangement. (All had to buy one $5 gift and play some crazy game – you know the deal.) Then on Christmas Day opened a hell of a lot of presents and made the biggest parenting mistake in the history of EVER. Heed my warning – do NOT feed your child lollies for breakfast on Christmas day. Well, in my defence it wasn’t me who fed her. So do NOT let your 13 year old brother feed your child lollies for breakfast on Christmas day. Trying to get the little twerp(s) [Robbie was just as bad as Hannah] to eat real food so they’d make it through the day was a truly painful process. I gave up and Jute had worked wonders and got some toast into Hannah. Thank God!

Anyway, Christmas day lunch was an elaborate affair organised by my cousin Kate and staged at her work, a flash advertising firm. They had a wicked functions room which had a pool table, bar, massive board room table, and an espresso machine! Bloody luxury! I ate so much I couldn’t move and made my second parenting mistake of the day. Whatever you do – do NOT let your child miss their afternoon sleep on Christmas day (especially when combined with earlier mistake). Honestly, she was Devil Child. The only thing that’d shut her up was a stupid ball shooter and catcher thingy that I bought for the present game. (Glad we didn’t go to Church!) Again, little brother was involved. He wanted to play with the game. I would have battled him to the death to keep it with Hannah. Idiot boy.

Boxing day we met up with a tonne of family I don’t even know and Dad did some shameless networking with the members of the family that are right into their International Development. Shame it’s rural development and I wouldn’t go to Lincoln if you paid me. Sheep just don’t do it for me. But still, it was nice meeting some more of my crazy relatives. (For the record – no long lost spunky cousins that I can pawn off to single friends. Although a whole bunch of people piked on Boxing Day because they were so hung over from the day before. I’m a bit bitter that it wasn’t me.)

Dad and Rob ditched me the next day and headed down to Queenstown. So I went on a wicked trip with Aunty Helen, Kate, Don and Gran to Peel Forest (in the middle of nowhere – we had to drive through a ford to get there! [ OK, so we took the deserted way to be adventurous… there was actually a sealed road going the whole way there.]) We stayed in an awesome Kiwiana bach… I had to shake the dead flies off the bedspread and force open the windows that had been painted shut. I managed to stalk the owners while I was there and found out their life story through reading old cards and seeing notes on Chrissie pressies. (What? They shouldn’t have left it there if they didn’t want nosey people like me looking through it! :P) I didn’t shower for 3 days! Which is absolutely unheard of from Miss I-must-shower-atleast-once-a-day-for-atleast-15-minutes. I used a basin of water, soap and a flannel. I roughed it! (Still managed to cleanse my face with Clinique Foaming Cream Cleanser…. I’m not into roughing it THAT much.)

Upon return to civilisation, I went to CHCH and crashed at Aunty Helen’s place; who had headed down to drink up large with daddio. I tracked down Tobin (a fellow ex-Captain Cook Tavern employee) and bullied him into coming and hanging out for the night. I made the poor man sit through Scooby Doo the Movie. I felt sorry for the poor man but was seriously glad I wasn’t watching it by myself. Could have damn well used him on New Year’s Eve tho – more to follow. The next morning I hitched a ride to the airport with Lauren, (Thanks Lauren! You are awesome!) Dad’s partner’s daughter, and picked up my rental car to drive back to Picton. The car drove beautifully but I swear everyone was looking at me… and not for good reasons. Mind you, I’d be staring and laughing too if I saw anyone driving one of those cars. Tiny, little, strange looking thing. Reminiscent of Mr Magoo (anyone who knows Small Small’s stupid looking car from 2004).

I met some more long lost rellies at Poppa and Margo’s (Margo’s family) and they were great! Nice to know there are some relations with a sense of humour out there. Rob was moving with his partner and her kidlet up to Waioru to train the new army recruits. I warned him about Don and he just smiled evilly. So yeah, sorry Don. Anyway, Rob almost convinced me to go into the army until he started telling us about what he was subject to as a recruit. I think he’s looking forward to getting some revenge this time round. It’s still a possibility, but not until I grow some balls. (Which could be a long time coming.)

Thennn I headed back on the ferry at some stupid hour of the morning and almost died from sea sickness. I don’t usually feel nauseous but geepers creepers, trying to get a toddler to stay in one place when you are on the verge of sprinting to the bathroom is bloody hard. Hannah was fine for some reason, despite making friends with a little girl who had a whole bunch of lollies and proceeding to “acquire” and awful lot of them for herself. (The other little girl was sick as a dog. hahahaha) And that was where the eventfulness of the holiday season reached an abrupt halt. NYE was spent updating MySpace – and willing other people to be as sad as me and post on parenting forums. No one was. I topped up my phone to abuse a few people and then felt even too depressed to continue that. I willed Hannah to wake up a few times but this was one damn night where she actually decided to sleep. And then I resigned myself to bed.

So yeah… exciting times in Nikki-and-Hannah Land. A few more months of boredom and then I get to drive myself crazy(er) by doing another year of honours. Can’t wait. Apparently I have picked a real shit paper… so yay for me.

I’m not always this surly… I promise.


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