Not THAT kind of working girl… just the normal kind.
So I survived my first week at work. Just. Almost didn’t make it this morning and then trying to organise a babysitter for Tuesday next week because of a creche teachers-only day almost made me reconsider this working business. But then I think I would be driven absolutely batty if I had to stay home with Hannah, and I managed to convince Jute and Gaz to be my Tuesday carers.
I plan to ramble about being a working mum in this post if you hadn’t already figured that out.
It’s a really weird feeling knowing that Hannah’s childcare has a more active role in “raising” her than I do. They spend 48 hours per week dealing with the little toad, while I get from 7.00am-7.45am and then 5.30-7.30 with her each day.
When I finished uni and knew that I had to find a job, I was really sad that my period of being a (part-time) stay at home mum was over. And really, 3 years is a good effort… well… I think so. Then spending the Christmas period with Hannah, all day… every day… nearly drove me nuts. I was intolerant and snappy and generally very unhappy. I do have massive guilt issues about that and tend to punish myself due to the unplanned nature of the arrival of Hanny-pants (“I made my bed” sort of business – though I have been taking liberties, like last weekend – thanks mum!) but since going into work full time I have been able to reeeeally enjoy spending time with her.
I don’t even mind when she has a massive screaming fit in the supermarket due to my refusal to buy her a Bananas in Pyjamas DVD… instead I laugh. I don’t mind when she decides that we need a whole pile of grapes and a pawpaw in our trolley… instead I just hand over the eftpos card. I don’t mind if she wants to wear her pyjamas to creche… I just take along clothes. So basically I’d decided that I was a better mum for working as I wasn’t screaming and threatening to remove toys/privileges/limbs every minute of the day.
BUT here presents another dilemma. The result of me being more lenient when I am with Hannah is that I worry about what she is learning from the things I let her get away with! You can’t win! I’m trying to enjoy the time I do have with her, but in doing so I am creating a spoiled brat.
I think there’s a balance to be found… if anyone would kindly let me in on the secrets of parenting I would be forever grateful.
On the upside, Hannah told me that I was her “best best mum for ever and ever” – I wonder what she was really after?