On getting to work

I’ve decided children are eeeevil.

In the last few weeks the child has lulled me into a false sense of security (and organisation) by being perfectly compliant in the morning rush to get ready. She has been clear with her breakfast requests (rather than the previous “I’m not huuuuuungry”), gotten dressed with little to no drama, and I’ve been able to get out the door and to work on time for the first time since I started my job a year ago.

Then today.

Apparently it is completely justified to have the world’s biggest melt down if your mother pours milk over your porridge and therefore conceals the redeeming feature of the oaty gloopiness, golden syrup.

That, my people, is the end of the world as far as a four year old is concerned.

That, my people, slows down the getting ready process by approximately half an hour.

That, my people, is when I would happily get on the floor with her and scream for just as long.

So yes, I spent that half an hour trying to convince her that the golden syrup was still there. It didn’t work. Then I tried an alternative method. The enforced-giggle-method, whereby she laughs her way out of melt-down land… and so had a minor freak-out about tears and snot and general goobies getting on to my dressing gown. All feelings of self-consciousness must be abandoned at this point. Thank freaking goodness that worked. The next tactic to be employed is “Seriously Grumpy Mummy” and neither of us like that one. (And it usually leads back to square one as far as melt downs go so isn’t particularly effective.)

Sometimes I seriously don’t know if I’m cut out for this parenting business.

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11 thoughts on “On getting to work

  1. It would be boring if they were always so compliant, right? Heh, maybe not 🙂We have these bad times to make us appreciate them when they are lovely angels 🙂

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  2. Don’t you love them? I used a new tactic yesterday….”Why do you want to make Mama sad and cross?” Emotional blackmail worked a treat! I’m just wondering if it will work twice?…..

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  3. If you would want to test the hat pattern, that would be great. I’ll have the rough draft (minus the picture of it on someone’s head)done soon. It’s almost done now.I’m aiming to have the pattern finished and available to the public around the middle of February. You can email me at: knittingupastormATgmailDOTcom if you’re onboard with this. 🙂Thanks for wanting to help out!

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  4. Yup,same here too! Every blimmin morning this week there have been battles and ingenious techniques tested all in the name of getting out the door in time for the bus.Today what worked was threatening to take Ella to kindy in the pyjama top and knickers she was wearing.

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  5. not sure if it would work with hannah, but jake has a checklist (complete with pics and words – which he can’t read but I pretend he can). he checks it off with his whiteboard marker. loves it and he also bosses taine into putting on pants. pain in the butt though at the mo cause he’s all one-armed (broke his arm last week) and can’t dress himself – and when i ask him to do stuff he sighs and claims his arm hurts.

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  6. I have a fight every morning because my 4 year old thinks her uniform is “boring and horrible” and it’s tough because it isn’t great. We had to do her hair Fancy Nancy style today to make up for it – at 6.45 am I do not find this easy! Good luck this week.

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  7. AT least she eats porridge. The Child takes half an hour to get through eating a roll and a banana in the morning but even then it is a matter of coaxing her (but not too hard in case she throws up) to eat her damn food.

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