Mother trucking slugs and snails

Well, slugs and snails is what I’ll start with… no bloody idea where I’ll end up in this post as it has been a while. It’s like a really fun game. Except more rambly and boring. So less fun. And gamey.

Anywayyyy… so I lovingly planted out a vegetable garden made with supplies unceremoniously nicked from the abandoned building materials around our neighbourhood. Little tiny plants nurtured from seeds: beans, peas, tomatoes, zuchini, silverbeet, and capsicum. They enjoyed their newfound home for a few days until one by one the poor little seedlings started disappearing. Like, I mean, I knew I’d planted 6 zuchini plants. I raised that shit by hand so I freaking knew there were 6. Then I head out to water them and there is a whole plant just gone. GONE. A tiny little stalk sticking out of the earth but that’s it. Decimated.

Apparently we have the whole of Auckland’s population of slugs and snails living in our garden. Then they’ve all told their mates from Hamilton who have been all “Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet. I’ma get me some of that leafy goodness.” And so they’ve all come and have been taking out a plant per night, hoping that I wouldn’t notice. But I’m way to enamoured with my little plants to not see that they were vanishing. Little pangs to my heart alerted me to it. So I’m all “NOOOOOOOOOO! Feck offfffff evil slugs and snails!” Quite an ineffective method of getting rid of slugs and snails, might I add.

Now I’m on a rampage. Well. I talk about being on a rampage a lot. I’ve yet to go all kung fu on their asses. In actual fact, I saw a giant slug sliming its way up the wall outside our laundry last night and all I really did was shudder a bit and then run away. Also quite ineffective at slug and snail extermination, just so ya know.

What I have actually done is completely abandon all hope of a nice, organic, nasty-stuff-free garden and threw a million tonnes of slug killer pellety things all over the garden. It said not to put it anywhere near the edible part of your plants but I decided I’d be way happier dying of slug poison knowing that I probably took some of those bastards with me, rather than dying of potential slug-slime contamination and knowing they’d got the better of me. Except that I really couldn’t die of slug slime contamination considering they’d have eaten all my damn plants! But I could potentially die from the plants allowing them to grow to super size and then invading my house and eating me. It’s possible.

At last count I was down 2 pea plant, 1 bean plant, 6 tomato plants, 1.5 zuchini plants, and my silverbeet is looking suspiciously chomped-on. Tonight I am forgoing sleep so I can sit out there with a torch and mallet and show those mother trucking slugs and snails who’s boss.

Oooo. Look. I stayed on topic. I’ll be back to bore you to death with more rambling tomorrow. And maybe some pictures of severely squashed slugs and snails, all things going to plan.

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13 thoughts on “Mother trucking slugs and snails

  1. Hello – not sure how I got to your blog but read sometimes. Pour some beer for your slugs, in a little container, that is big enough for them to drown in. I put one out the other night and caught a whole heap.

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  2. I had all these plans with my plants too, you know, to be organic and stuff, but also reverted to ye olde slug pellet. The one I have is safe for cats and dogs apparently.

    Anyhow, in addition to Sarah's beer tip, you can also try putting coffee grinds (old ones) or eggs shelss around the base of each plant. Most effective: last year my Boy and his flatmate would go out on late night snail hunts and this proved to be the most effective way of getting rid of them. But really – *shudder*

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  3. You can grind up the slugs and snails and sprinke them around to warn off their mates if you don't want to share your beer. But yeah, that's kind of the most disgusting thing in the world, so hooray for the poison pellets I say.

    I love reading about garden pestilence. You make it quite riveting.

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  4. Coffee grinds are also good, as Ginger says. They stop them and make good fertiliser.

    I'm not sure if it means that you have coffee flavoured veges though… that would be cool.

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  5. Ecostore Slugs and snails pellets work here but still say keep out of reach of children.
    Ingredient Aluminium Sulphate.

    Plastic bottles-cut the bottom off and pop them over your seedlings they make good protection.

    Beer traps are great simk them into the ground and they double in effectiveness (also gets the mo fo's who are too lazy to climb up to the beer.

    I had great plans to whoop any slug that dared to touch my precious seedlings thankfully never happened gotta love the south island and its frosty resistence to warmth that grows creepy crawlies.
    White butterflies however have left J very traumatized……

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  6. Me Jute and Caro might need to quickly eat all the thriving veges in my “nearly” organic garden before you arrive on Saturday in case you die of envy!!!!!

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  7. Not all the Hamilton slug and snail buddies came up to your garden. A good number are still partying on with my seedlings. I gave in to the slug pellet poison a long time ago, although the beer trap sounds amusing enough to try! Nice to have you back in blog land xxx

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