Honestly, what is with bugs of sorts and making my life a living nightmare? My worst fear was realised last night when a moth crawled in my ear.
I KNOW! Grossing you out right?! Well, imagine being ME!!!
I was lying there happily in bed talking to the boy, lying on my side, when I felt something land on my ear, but on the inside… but not right inside ya know? I sat bolt upright and said “There’s a bug in my ear!” and the movement must have somehow encouraged it to fall or crawl INTO MY EAR CANAL.
I freaked. And then freaked a bit more. I seriously hate the whole idea of things going in ears. Mostly water and wind… but now also BUGS. And in particular, MOTHS. Those little feckers were on my gross-me-out list already; their dusty, fragile little wings, their furry, squidgy little bodies, their ability to be squashed so damn easily, their fluttery, in-your-face flying business. ICK. And then combine those two horrible, horrible fears and you get what happened to me last night.
I’m not sure I’ll ever get over it.
So, it was bad enough that it went in… but then it started trying to get out. And it was loud. I could hear it squirming away in there and also feel it moving about. Jesus. Retelling this is making me cringe. I’d finally managed to communicate to the boy exactly what was happening by that point and he was saying “Shake your head!” and I was trying, but it was making it wriggle even more which would send me into another panic. I think I just kept repeating “It’s moving around! ARGH!” over and over.
It felt like the longest minute or so in my life. I was just hoping, wishing, praying that the fricking moth would die quickly so that the squiggling in my ear would stop. And then I could just get a doctor to sort it out in the morning. But thankfully, god, so thankfully, it finally managed to get out. And it landed on my hand. And honestly, I just couldn’t put that moth through any more stress, despite how much I wanted to cause mass moth genocide at that point, so I let it out the window.
But omigosh, if I ever have to go through that again, I just don’t know what I’d do.
And now I’m going to design some anti-moth-crawling-in-ear-canal sleep wear so that I can rest easy at night.