They are all out to get me.

Honestly, what is with bugs of sorts and making my life a living nightmare? My worst fear was realised last night when a moth crawled in my ear.

I KNOW! Grossing you out right?! Well, imagine being ME!!!

I was lying there happily in bed talking to the boy, lying on my side, when I felt something land on my ear, but on the inside… but not right inside ya know? I sat bolt upright and said “There’s a bug in my ear!” and the movement must have somehow encouraged it to fall or crawl INTO MY EAR CANAL.

I freaked. And then freaked a bit more. I seriously hate the whole idea of things going in ears. Mostly water and wind… but now also BUGS. And in particular, MOTHS. Those little feckers were on my gross-me-out list already; their dusty, fragile little wings, their furry, squidgy little bodies, their ability to be squashed so damn easily, their fluttery, in-your-face flying business. ICK. And then combine those two horrible, horrible fears and you get what happened to me last night.

I’m not sure I’ll ever get over it.

So, it was bad enough that it went in… but then it started trying to get out. And it was loud. I could hear it squirming away in there and also feel it moving about. Jesus. Retelling this is making me cringe. I’d finally managed to communicate to the boy exactly what was happening by that point and he was saying “Shake your head!” and I was trying, but it was making it wriggle even more which would send me into another panic. I think I just kept repeating “It’s moving around! ARGH!” over and over.

It felt like the longest minute or so in my life. I was just hoping, wishing, praying that the fricking moth would die quickly so that the squiggling in my ear would stop. And then I could just get a doctor to sort it out in the morning. But thankfully, god, so thankfully, it finally managed to get out. And it landed on my hand. And honestly, I just couldn’t put that moth through any more stress, despite how much I wanted to cause mass moth genocide at that point, so I let it out the window.

But omigosh, if I ever have to go through that again, I just don’t know what I’d do.


And now I’m going to design some anti-moth-crawling-in-ear-canal sleep wear so that I can rest easy at night.


13 thoughts on “They are all out to get me.

  1. Ha a lovely lovely story. Great altruistic ending. Commendable. I once had a slug on my forehead while sleeping. The whole camping-site was alerted. Some tourists will still remember.
    Yes chick we must get together perhaps team up da childrinos for a craftmarket and a play?


  2. Eeeeeek. That story had me cringing just reading it, I don't know if I would have coped nearly as well had it happened to me!
    Glad there was a happy ending though, well done Nikki!


  3. We had cupboard moths recently. They ruined months worth of food. We threw it out, cleaned and killed every last one of them, and now there are just occasional single moths, which we kill on sight. Animals are our friends, until they attack our ears or eat our expensive food. Then we kill them!


  4. Is it kinda nerdy that I know what to do if that ever happens again? If the moth doesn't fly out, pour olive oil in your ear. The moth stops flapping and dies then your ear sort of sloughs it out in time. X


  5. Oooo man you poor poor thing I remember that all to well but I was attacked by a Huhu beetle, those things are freaking huge, mum didn't believe me thought I was attention seeking late at night because she had a man staying over.
    Thankfully that nights shag did and told her to take me to A+E after the oil didn't work.
    Dr's syringed it out in many many pieces.
    I got lollies.

    But yes creeeepppppyyyyy
    Empathies from me xxxxx


  6. Hah! Katie; was on my way to get said torch when it came out 😀 I actually thought it may have been a creepy crawly from the kidlet, especially after the neighbour announced they found some on theirs (kid) 😛


  7. Oh Nikki it ain't no competition.
    Its a horror of an experience no one should ever have to suffer.
    Obviously a huge flaw in the evolution of people we need little fly screens over our ear canals


  8. Oh god that sounds horrible! I am not a fan of insects either. The other night I felt something crawling up the inside of my leg. I had long pants on. It was a COCKROACH. Seriously frantic undressing occurred, whilst trying not to scream in disgust because at the time I was settling the 1 year old (it was 10pm) and she was just nodding off to sleep in her cot. The worst part: I have no idea how it got up there and I am refusing to believe it was there all frickin' day. Shudder.


  9. OMG! This made me laugh so hard…but only because this is also my worst fear! The other night we had a moth in our room, and every time it flew over the bed I kept ducking dramatically under the covers and waking up my hubby. Finally he told me off, but then I still lay awake for two hours, obsessively checking the baby to make sure the moth hadn't landed anywhere near or on him. I feel your horrified, horrified trauma! lol And the worst thing is, I don't know what happened to that moth. Did he die? Fly out the window? Or is he lying in wait to land on me in the night and crawl into my ear canal? It's haunting me. Glad to see I am not alone in my moth phobia!


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