This is not made up

So, if you are following me on twitter you may have noticed the excessive amount of makeup talk going on there lately. My gumby self put out the call to the wise women of twitter and my fantastic make up consultant replied almost immediately, recommending a brand that had recieved a good review. Somehow I still managed to buy the wrong stuff but never fear, all was not lost! I put it on successfully for a night out and it worked perfectly. That time. Since then I have had a major disaster. I didn’t admit it to anyone at the time but just felt the need to recount it to a friend during an email conversation about preparations for her wedding. After a request was put out for the use of a GHD hair straightener, I admitted that the extent of my high maintenance tendencies are a hair dryer and powder make up that I still don’t know how to apply properly. She had replied with “It’s easy! There’s a brush!”. She then found out how wrong it all can go….

“There is a brush, yes. And it would seem easy to the usual person. I think we forget how uncoordinated I am. Last time I tried to apply the bloody stuff I loaded up the brush with powder (fuck knows why I didn’t tap most of it off?!!?) and decided the best place to start was my eye. Can I just point out that a brush full of powder and an eye aren’t really the best combination? I think I was in a massive hurry.

Anyway, I ended up with powder all through my eye brow, my eye lashes, and IN MY FREAKING EYE. Not pleasant. And I couldn’t get the shit off my eye lashes! I looked like a ginger with pale eye lashes ya know?… but just on the one eye! Omigod. Devastating. I almost considered throwing it out on the spot. Instead I persevered and used a flannel to wipe it all off… and then wipe all the powder off the sink. Which didn’t really work. So now my mum’s bathroom vanity has a nice discoloured patch. Ah well. So yeah, got most of it off and out of my eye but powder at the base of my lashes remained that no amount of rubbing was going to move. I gave up and just made sure there was no photographic evidence of me floating around.

I am awesome.”

I don’t know if I am quite ready for the made up world. I’ll stick to make up for special occassions and use special caution around the eye area from now on.

So anyway, I felt the need to relay this story on my blog lest there be anyone else suffering from powder induced blindness. Perhaps I might start a support group for the gumbily inclined. Anyone want to join me?

P.S. Sorry about the bathroom Mum.


4 thoughts on “This is not made up

  1. On the lashes: mascara, darling. or, keep an old mascara wand, and you can use it to brush your eyelashes with.

    On the vanity: try using eye makeup remover. Or olive oil.

    On everything else: it takes practice. I've been putting on makeup for 15 years, and I still get it wrong. (In other news, holy crap I am old.) Figuring out how to apply it, what works for you, how not to smudge your eye makeup, it all takes practice.

    I like to think of it as finger painting on my face – it's meant to be fun.


  2. Nex time you're around, visit your dear ole Uncle Al for a free training session with a trained expert (weekdays are best)!


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