The land that taste forgot

I wish I didn’t have to do this. But my neighbours leave me no choice. I swear wholeheartedly that I don’t go seeking out things to make fun of. It’s just they land in my lap, and what’s a blogger to do?

It wasn’t that long ago, so I’m sure you all remember the amazing Dolphin mail box. Well, it seems that taste is something of a rarity in these parts because my other neighbours are sporting some rather fetching hand chairs in their lounge.

You know? The ones that look like this:

 And I mean, not one… not two… but THREE OF THESE DAMN THINGS!

Nevermind that the person who designed this chair in the first place was taking the piss, but now this family has made a whole lounge suite from these things and is keeping him in business. Probably took out shares in the company. Gosh, I’m glad I’m not related to them… at Christmas time it’s probably all “Hand chairs for all!” declared cheerily. Not sure I could hold in my vomit.

Omigoodness. Do you think the owner of the house IS the designer?!?! Noooo…. Surely not. Right? I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. They are just suffering from appalling decorating ideas and not actually the mastermind of a world wide takeover by hand shaped monstrosities.

Anyway, it’s all just a theory until I investigate further. But in the mean time, unfortunately for us, it does get worse. As I said above, there are three. But not only are there three. There are THREE that CLASH.

And no, I’m not joking. I was planning to get a photo of them all sitting in their lounge watching TV, safely ensconsed in their matching (yet SO NOT MATCHING) hand chairs. My plan was foiled when I finally charged up the boy’s camera, hunted out his giant lens, and went to take a stealthy photo: they’d got curtains!! What are the odds?! A house that has not had curtains for months, subjecting the neighbourhood to the full view of these god awful chairs, had suddenly decided to create a little privacy? I’m sure it was nothing to do with the fact that every time I drove past I slowed to a crawl and stared into their windows with a look of horror and disbelief on my face.

Right… so… I didn’t get an ACTUAL photo. So we’ll make do with my photoshopped replicas. But picture this… a family of three, Dad, Mum, and child eating a lovely dinner off their knees of steak, mashed potatoes (made from a packet), and frozen mixed vege, all settled down to watch Coro, in their three chairs:

A red one…
A magenta one…
And a damn teal one!

I mean, really?!?! Could you pick a worse combination of colours?! Perhaps they’d better get an orange one… just in case they have company.

I don’t know what else to say. Apart from: this is what I have to live with EVERY DAY people. Every. Day.

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14 thoughts on “The land that taste forgot

  1. Hahahahaha! I cannot BELIEVE someone actually owns those!! Oh my goodness, I'm dying. I didn't think it could possible get worse/better than the dolphin letterbox.

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  2. We have one of those chairs! It's red. And kid-sized. And it's in the kids' rumpus room. For the kids. Which is pretty much the only situation where those chairs are ever ok!

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  3. Oh I hope they never find your blog and seek revenge!! My whole bloody town has been alerted to mine. I'm minding my p's and q's and hoping they'll start BUYING MY STUFF!

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  4. You know my thoughts relating to these chairs. But I'll remind you, for the sake of the masses; ex-What Now hosts, I say, they've got to be. They're clinging to their glory days.

    I hope you are mocking people who watch Coro…and doubley so when they abbreviate it fondly. (/wink at Sharonnz) I'm sure you're still good people…but c'mon…really?

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  5. Oh god, that is the funniest thing I've heard all day. Laugh out loud kind of funny…until they move in next door I imagine! Please stalk some more neighbours, this is gold!

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  6. That's the problem with all the glass houses round these parts… you can see EVERYTHING! I'm sure there's probably a blog somewhere around with photos (or just a rant) of me sprinting naked from my bedroom to the washing pile 😉

    Jo – you might be right. Except they'd still be hand chairs, which is so very wrong.

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  7. O Gosh.. now i understand where the “ill swap you a bed to sleep in for a hand chair” came from.
    This is just next level. I think they deserve an annonymis concerned neighbour declaration.
    Although.. How sweet would it be if you collated all of your neighbours treasures into one household…

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