The land that taste forgot

I wish I didn’t have to do this. But my neighbours leave me no choice. I swear wholeheartedly that I don’t go seeking out things to make fun of. It’s just they land in my lap, and what’s a blogger to do?

It wasn’t that long ago, so I’m sure you all remember the amazing Dolphin mail box. Well, it seems that taste is something of a rarity in these parts because my other neighbours are sporting some rather fetching hand chairs in their lounge.

You know? The ones that look like this:

 And I mean, not one… not two… but THREE OF THESE DAMN THINGS!

Nevermind that the person who designed this chair in the first place was taking the piss, but now this family has made a whole lounge suite from these things and is keeping him in business. Probably took out shares in the company. Gosh, I’m glad I’m not related to them… at Christmas time it’s probably all “Hand chairs for all!” declared cheerily. Not sure I could hold in my vomit.

Omigoodness. Do you think the owner of the house IS the designer?!?! Noooo…. Surely not. Right? I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. They are just suffering from appalling decorating ideas and not actually the mastermind of a world wide takeover by hand shaped monstrosities.

Anyway, it’s all just a theory until I investigate further. But in the mean time, unfortunately for us, it does get worse. As I said above, there are three. But not only are there three. There are THREE that CLASH.

And no, I’m not joking. I was planning to get a photo of them all sitting in their lounge watching TV, safely ensconsed in their matching (yet SO NOT MATCHING) hand chairs. My plan was foiled when I finally charged up the boy’s camera, hunted out his giant lens, and went to take a stealthy photo: they’d got curtains!! What are the odds?! A house that has not had curtains for months, subjecting the neighbourhood to the full view of these god awful chairs, had suddenly decided to create a little privacy? I’m sure it was nothing to do with the fact that every time I drove past I slowed to a crawl and stared into their windows with a look of horror and disbelief on my face.

Right… so… I didn’t get an ACTUAL photo. So we’ll make do with my photoshopped replicas. But picture this… a family of three, Dad, Mum, and child eating a lovely dinner off their knees of steak, mashed potatoes (made from a packet), and frozen mixed vege, all settled down to watch Coro, in their three chairs:

A red one…

A magenta one…

And a damn teal one!

I mean, really?!?! Could you pick a worse combination of colours?! Perhaps they’d better get an orange one… just in case they have company.

I don’t know what else to say. Apart from: this is what I have to live with EVERY DAY people. Every. Day.