So, I was merrily on my way to work last Friday when I realised I was awfully low on petroleum. It dawned on me as I pulled in to the petrol station that it had been a while since I’d last checked my oil and water so I should probably do that too.
The old pre-pay pump required me to venture inside to pay for my $60 worth of petrol before I got a-pumping. I cheerily smiled at the people serving inside, the same ones that I see every Friday morning, then wandered back out to my car and set the pump going while I popped my bonnet and checked things over.
I was thinking smugly to myself that I probably looked like I halfway knew what I was doing as I filled up the water reservoir and then wiped down the oil dipstick and pushed it back in. The smugness ended abruptly as I pulled the dipstick out of its holder and noted the distinct absence of oil. Not even below empty. Just none.
The panic started to set in as I realised I could have done some major damage to my car. Probably on the motorway. In peak hour. With my phone battery flat. Leaving my daughter stranded at after school care. It didn’t feel good. I needed some oil NOW.
I looked around and saw that the petrol forecourt was getting busier so hastily jumped in my car to move it into one of the parks by the shop to put the oil in. I moved forward, thanking baby Jebus for helping me avoid breaking down on the motorway by somehow planting thoughts into my brain that meant that I stopped that day to check the oil.
What would have been nice of baby Jebus to do was to also warn me that I’d forgotten to PUT THE FRACKING PETROL NOZZLE BACK. Thanks baby Jebus!
I heard an almighty crash behind me and got out to find the nozzle and hose severed from the pump and EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the whole entire WORLD… OK… whole entire petrol station looking at me and trying REAL HARD not to laugh. Some more successfully than others, might I add.*
So yay. I became THAT person. Stoked.
And no, I will never ever live this down. Jute will see to that. And yeahhhh, I’m waiting for the bill in the mail. Double stoked.
* I’m looking at you, petrol station server woman.