It’s the never ending story

I’ve been yelling a lot lately.

The child hasn’t been particularly good at listening and I’ve resorted to yelling to try and get her to do the things I expect. I’d really like to yell less.

I have always tried to treat Hannah the way I’d like to be treated. And I wouldn’t like to be yelled at.

I believe that yelling erodes the trust that a child has in an adult. I really don’t want to get to the point where Hannah is a teenager and wonder why she doesn’t tell me things. That thought distresses me.

When she’s older, I want Hannah to be the kind of person who is confident enough to make the right choices. For herself and for other people. I want her to be patient, compassionate, responsible(ish), and happy. This requires modelling good behaviour, encouragement, praise, attentiveness and patience.

Tonight it’s all just a bit overwhelming. That the road to being a good person is to be built bit by bit, every day. But it’s so freaking long. It’s a thousands of single days of “brush your teeth!”, “bring in your school bag!”, “tidy your room!”… and tonight? I just don’t think I want to do it.

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10 thoughts on “It’s the never ending story

  1. Yeah I was going to suggest a bit of positive re-enforcement aka bribery for the kiddo.

    Also she's just turned 6 and they sometimes are just a PITA.

    *hugs* hope that boy of yours is fixing you a damn stiff drink

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  2. I hear ya! I swear my kids' ears must have fallen off and they are both wildly over exited and LOUD and everything is happening at great volume and intensity just when I'm feeling a bit frazzled and fragile and totally unable to keep my cool in the face of it all.

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  3. I feel ya Nikki – Rex is regularly driving me to those exact same thoughts – I'm on day three of (this month's version) trying break some of my yelly, impatient patterns and forge new, less combative ones – can't say I'm feeling especially successful so far – I'm taking my small victories where I can get them.
    Found a cool pic the other day of Rex and Han at about 2 eating there dinner in our back yard – they were cute – I guess they still are, they just hide it better 😉

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  4. Wanna know what cured my excessive yelling? Going back to work. I am a better parent for not spending all day around my kids, and it makes me a bit sad to admit it. But some days it is a mountain to climb not to yell at them. I hear ya.
    Best part? (maybe) Tomorrow starts all over again. So you get to be not-yelly mama then. Tonight you should definitely get a drink.
    PS: From what the internet tells me, you don't have to worry about Hannah, you're doing a fine job.

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  5. I hear you. Mmmhmm.
    No advice here, just another parent who's gone it, doesn't like it, and sometimes has lots of energy and strategies to avoid doing it and sometimes just has nothing.
    I hear you. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…

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  6. Send her here – when “whakarongo painted ears” didnt work for you we did use the hand on shoulder and eye contact quite a bit. On the other hand I had the most success with Jessie by sort of whispering the commands because she would melt if you used voice 'B'. The cleaner almost melted today when she intercepted a growling Joey got for scratching up the couches…..from a concerned Grandparent!

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  7. I hear you sister. if it's any conciliation, I've told jake that the security cameras in various stores are actually Santa's Magic eye and help the elves decide who is naughty and who is nice. I've got one more week of this to go and then i need my next threatening way of parenting.

    sigh.

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  8. I cannot even begin to count the number of times I yelled (and how loud) at my kids at that age. And y'know what? They're now 11 and 15 and awesome and show no signs of suffering ill-effects from it. So I guess rather than offering advice for your current situation I'm just saying “this too will pass”. 😀

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